Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Merry Christmas To My Friends & Family!

My grand-daughter Desiree and I after my last chemo/radiation treatment....I look really tired in this pic....but I am rested up a little more now.  And with my wig the nurses say I look great!!!!  Course that is with some make-up on too!  I will have to take a pic and show ya's. 

Anyhow, went to see the Chemo Dr. the other day, he said my scan looked good, and I said, "Oh so does that mean I am the one in five!"  And he said "NOTHING!!!!"  I go okay that hesitation was way to long!  He said after five years of not needing treatment you will be.  Oh really, well if I don't have to come back for a scan and to see you till March....How will I know if the cancer has moved somewhere else?  And his reply was....."Oh you'll  know!!!!!!!"  I said, "What does that mean!"  And again I asked him, how will I know because I am not one to go to the doctors!!!!!   And again he says without looking at me both times, "Oh you will know!!!!!"  Finally the nurse goes if anything feels different to you or you have pain just call us and we will get you in here.  So take it as you will that is what I was told.....I should have grabbed my neighbor Bob to go with me instead of going alone.  Just seems so unfair that I have had to go through this alone, well okay except for the times my neighbor Bob, God Bless him,  came and watched Ry for me or Jenn came with me, Oh and Desiree came to a Chemo session with me once when she didn't have to go to school that day.   My husband has had to work he is the only one in our family supporting all of us....and well no work no money no pay bills,,,,,,Everyone that is there has tons of family with them that cares about their loved one with cancer and it just hurts to think.... forgive me cause I haven't complained about anything since I found out I had cancer and I don't know why I am complaining now besides I have had God with me all the way so I guess I have never really been alone.  What more do I need, it worked for me my faith that is and it always has and always will....My Lord has never forsaken me!

I forgot to show you my personal wallpaper for December that I am using......

isn't it cute!  I can't wait to make more free calendar wallpapers for next year!

These are the snow people I painted a few years ago, they fit perfect out in our big front window, they are my favorite of all the paintings I have done.  They look so in love don't they?

Well I received a call from my grandson's school last week and again this week....I tell ya that boy is heading for trouble and I don't know what to do to help him.  He is in fifth grade and he is a big boy....but he has a lot of ATTITUDE!!!!  He has now been suspended from school till school gets back in session after the holidays!  Going to pray for this one!!!!!!

To all my family and friends, my thoughts and prayers are with you always....May your holidays be filled with the spirit and joy of Christmas!  Be safe Be happy Be loved!  God bless you all.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Let It Snow! snowed yesterday and it was awesome!!!! Desiree, Ryan and I all went outside and made a little snowman, just about Ryan's size. He loves everything about Christmas and isn't afraid to show his excitement!!!!


Well I thought I had Chemo on the 7th but I was wrong..I called the Infusion Center and they said, "No, but I do have to have a "Cat Scan" done next week and then I see the Dr. the following week.

Was horribly sick over this past weekend, while Mike, Desiree and Ryan had sinus problems...I had dizziness and vomiting well more like severe dry heaves....It was horrible. Not sure if it is because of my cancer or something that I had caught from the three of them.

Also would like to say:
to my Sister-n-Law Cathy!! Hope you had a great day!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my Mom, Cindy, Larry & Grandma for all the wonderful gifts I was sent for my birthday...God Bless You All!!!!!

Our Snowman, Desiree and Ryan

Hugs, Linda

Friday, November 18, 2011

Just Catching You Up

Brrrrrrr....Baby it's cold outside!

It was 28 degrees out this morning.....that is cold!  I am not a fan of the cold...but I love the snow,  figure that one

Well next week we celebrate Thanksgiving!  Thanksgiving...can you believe it!!!!!  I also get to celebrate my birthday the same day....some may think that it is cool to celebrate your birthday on a holiday...but it isn't!  I only like celebrating my birthday on a holiday so that the hussel and bussel of the holiday makes me forget all about my birthday!!!!!!  Now that is coooooool don't you think...I do!!!!!

Well as of the 21st of November I am done with the radiation on the fact I was told I was done with radiation all together...and even if I wanted more I would not be getting any more!!!!!  Now I guess the results of brain radiation takes a long long time to see results.....and the awful side effects that come along with treatments!!!  The Dr. tells me my hair will never grow back, radiation does not treat hair follicles kindly....I could loose anywhere from 2 to 10 points off my IQ......I will get extremely tired.....will be sick to my stomach or vomiting....may get headaches.....all I know is that it will take anywhere from one to two years to see the serious affects of this treatment.

The worst part of this radiation so far was when they fitted the mesh mask over your face...felt like a warm wash cloth....and then it became tighter and tighter until you felt like you were being buried alive.....kid you not....when it was fitted to your face and head they marked the spots exactly where you would be scanned with the radiation next time you came for treatment.....I had an anxiety attack when they put the mask on and screwed it to the table....I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe....finally I thought of somewhere else I would rather be, slowed my breathing down, way down....and waited for the treatment to be over......My prayers and thoughts go out to every little child who has ever had to go through cancer treatments....God Bless You, If I sound like I am complaining please forgive me!

I head for another round of "Chemo" in early December for three days....not sure what is up after that but will keep you informed....To my family and friends ~ I love you all!!!!!

Speaking of bestest friend of all.....beckie...sent me a silver heart necklace through the mail the other day....and put both of our precious angles pictures inside so that they can watch over me....God Bless YOU my Dear Friend!!!!!!!

Oh, by the way,  my grandchildren's report cards came this week......WOW!!!!!!!!  Talk about smart kids.....WOW!  Desiree scored in the high 90's all the way down her report card and has a 95 average!!!!  Way to go Dez, Way to go!!!!!   Zak he scored in the low 90's and 80's on his......WOW!!!!!!!!!  Way to go Zak, Way to go!!!!!!   Needless to say that Nana & Papa, Ron & Jill & Mom & Dad are all so proud of you both!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Break between treatments!

It is almost the end of October....Where is this year going too!  Well for the last couple of weeks I have had a break in treatments......they finished up on the radiation on the tumor in the lung....toward the end of last month....and chemo is done until December!

Today I went for a brain scan to make sure the cancer hasn't spread to the brain, which they thought it hadn't....but needed to be read by another doctor before they would say for sure.  So I have to start my radiation on the brain which is a precautionary measure for this cancer.  It will be ten days of treatment and that is it!  Will let you know how it goes. 

Friday, September 23, 2011

Autumn Thyme!

Well, it has been a crazy month to say the least. 
The 4th I ended up in the ER with a "Chemo Fever!"  Was admitted to the hospital  for seven days, said my white cells had dropped dangerously low.  Was the worse seven days of my life!  Couldn't wait to get out of the hospital. 

Then my red blood cells had dropped when I went for my Chemo treatment so they gave me my blood transfusion in one arm and chemo in the other,  just so I could make it to my radiation treatment on time. 
Yesterday they gave me a shot in the arm to keep my bone marrow happy so that my white cell count does not fall low again. Then off to radiation treatment before I went to the dentist....I had two teeth pulled, am on tons of antibiotics to keep from getting a secondary infection.  Have about six or seven more radiation treatments to go where they are only targeting the lung and then they are going to target the brain.  Cause that is were this particular cancer goes next.  This is precautionary and will keep it from going there i guess.  Then another round of Chemo in October and then I think they will re-scan me to see were we are at.   It is all in "God's Hands!" 

Today is the first day of Autumn...enjoy it...I love fall, don't you? 
Where did Summer go!!!  
 Have a great weekend!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

There are moments in your life that
make you and
sets the course of who
you're going to be.
Sometimes they're
little, subtle moments.
they're big moments you never saw coming.
No one asks for their life to change,
but it does.
It's what you do afterwards
that counts.
That's when you find out
who you are.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Jennifer you are only human, Mom loves you!

September 1, 2011You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do
Becoming Your Wrong Decisions

We are not our decisions and no decision is wrong because we made the choice with the information at hand.

Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and in-actions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that “wrong” decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our “poor” decisions by labeling ourselves incompetent decision-makers. However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence—what makes you a unique entity—exists independently of your decision-making process.

There are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence yet they are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on our ability to trust ourselves and our self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a “bad decision” was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently. Try to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to understand why you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward.

A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply human.


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

For you my friends....

A Friendship Rose:
Just like a rose, so precious and rare,
is the forever friendship the circle of us share.

Planted with kindness, it's warmed by the sun of
caring and sharing, laughter and fun.

It's grounded in trust and nurtured by love,
with a sprinkling of grace from God up above.

Tears of sadness and joy, like dew,
renew this friendship I share with you.

And in the heart's garden,
we find the room to be ourselves, to grow and bloom.

A blessing of beauty unsurpassed,
our friendship's a flower that will always last.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Some Free Wallpapers for you!

I don't have much spare time lately but it helps me to deal with everything so I have made some wallpapers for the coming months for you to use. Most are 1440 x 900, I use them on my notebook/laptop. You can resize them in any art program to fit your own computer needs.

Hope you like them, just click onto them and they will open in their own window where you can just click on the ones you want, save background or picture to your computer okay (usually saves in your pictures folder.)   Have fun with them, I have left some of them png's so that you can add your own photos or calenders. God Bless!

Download Link

Download Link

                                                            Download Link

       Download Link

        Download Link

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Results are in....

Well the biopsy results are in: the cancer is limited to my right lung and it is "small cell carcinoma." It is a rare cancer, has only a 15 to 20 percent survival rate. But if I am one out of five who beats it then i won't have it again.

They have started me on a three day once a month Chemo regimen. My first day is 6 hrs. of Chemo treatment, the second day is 2 and a half hours of treatment and the third day is also 2 and a half hours of Chemo.

A little note on: Chemotherapy

Chemotherapy is treatment with anti-cancer drugs injected into a vein or taken by mouth. These drugs enter the bloodstream and go throughout the body, making this treatment useful for cancer that has spread (metastasized) to organs beyond the lung. Chemotherapy is usually the main treatment for small cell lung cancer (SCLC).

Doctors give chemotherapy in cycles, with a period of treatment (usually 1 to 3 days) followed by a rest period to allow your body time to recover. Chemotherapy cycles generally last about 3 to 4 weeks, and initial treatment typically is 4 to 6 cycles. Chemotherapy is often not recommended for patients in poor health, but advanced age by itself is not a barrier to getting chemotherapy.

Chemotherapy for SCLC generally uses a combination of 2 drugs. The drug combinations most often used for initial chemotherapy for SCLC are:
• Cisplatin and etoposide
• Carboplatin and etoposide
• Cisplatin and irinotecan
• Carboplatin and irinotecan
• Cyclophosphamide, doxorubicin (Adriamycin), and vincristine

If the cancer progresses during treatment or returns after treatment is finished, different chemotherapy drugs may be tried. The choice of drugs depends to some extent on how soon the cancer begins to grow again. (The longer it takes for the cancer to return, the more likely it is to respond to further treatment.)
• If the cancer progresses during treatment or relapses within 2 to 3 months of finishing treatment, drugs such as topotecan, ifosfamide, paclitaxel, docetaxel, irinotecan, or gemcitabine may be tried.
• If the relapse occurs from 2 to 3 months to 6 months after treatment, topotecan is often the drug of choice. Other drugs that may be tried include irinotecan, the CAV regimen (cyclophosphamide, doxorubicin, and vincristine), gemcitabine, paclitaxel, docetaxel, oral etoposide, or vinorelbine.
• For relapses 6 or more months after treatment, the original chemotherapy regimen may still be effective and can often be tried again.

Possible side effects of chemotherapy

Chemotherapy drugs work by attacking cells that are dividing quickly, which is why they work against cancer cells. But other cells in the body, such as those in the bone marrow (where new blood cells are made), the lining of the mouth and intestines, and the hair follicles, also divide quickly. These cells are also likely to be affected by chemotherapy, which can lead to side effects.

The side effects of chemotherapy depend on the type and dose of drugs given and the length of time they are taken. These side effects can include:
• Hair loss
• Mouth sores
• Loss of appetite
• Nausea and vomiting
• Diarrhea or constipation
• Increased chance of infections (from low white blood cell counts)
• Easy bruising or bleeding (from low blood platelet counts)
• Fatigue (from low red blood cell counts)

These side effects are usually short-term and go away after treatment is finished. There are often ways to lessen these side effects. For example, there are drugs that can be given to help prevent or reduce nausea and vomiting.

Some drugs such as cisplatin, vinorelbine, docetaxel, or paclitaxel can damage nerves. This can sometimes lead to symptoms (mainly in the hands and feet) such as pain, burning or tingling sensations, sensitivity to cold or heat, or weakness. This is called peripheral neuropathy. In most cases this goes away once treatment is stopped, but it may be long lasting in some people. For more information, see our document, Peripheral Neuropathy Caused by Chemotherapy.

You should report this or any other side effects you notice while getting chemotherapy to your medical team so that they can be treated promptly. In some cases, the doses of the chemotherapy drugs may need to be reduced or treatment may need to be delayed or stopped to prevent the effects from getting worse.

I see the Radiation Dr. on this Thursday to set up my schedule seems like this cancer likes to head to the brain next so precautionary measures are to have radiation therapy to the brain, Monday thru Friday for 6 weeks.

A little note on: Radiation therapy

Radiation therapy uses high-energy rays (such as x-rays) or particles to kill cancer cells. External beam radiation therapy (EBRT) delivers radiation from outside the body that is focused on the cancer. This is the type of radiation therapy most often used to treat small cell lung cancer.

In small cell lung cancer (SCLC), radiation therapy may be used in several situations:
• It is most often given at the same time as chemotherapy in limited stage disease to treat the tumor and lymph nodes in the chest. After chemotherapy, radiation therapy is sometimes used to kill any small deposits of cancer that may remain.
• It can be used to shrink tumors to palliate (relieve) symptoms of lung cancer such as bone pain, bleeding, trouble swallowing, cough, shortness of breath, and problems caused by brain metastases.
• In limited SCLC, it is often given to the brain after other treatments, to help reduce the chances that the cancer will spread there. (The brain is a common site of metastasis.) This is called prophylactic cranial irradiation.

Before your treatments start, the radiation team will take careful measurements to find the correct angles for aiming the radiation beams and the proper dose of radiation. Radiation therapy is much like getting an x-ray, but the radiation is more intense. The procedure itself is painless. Each treatment lasts only a few minutes, although the setup time – getting you into place for treatment – usually takes longer.

Most often, radiation treatments as part of the initial treatment for SCLC are given once or twice daily, 5 days a week, for 3 to 7 weeks. Radiation to relieve symptoms and prophylactic cranial radiation are given for shorter periods of time.

Standard (conventional) EBRT isn't used as much as it used to be. Newer techniques help doctors treat lung cancers more accurately while lowering the radiation exposure to nearby healthy tissues. These techniques may offer better chances of increasing the success rate and reducing side effects. Most doctors now recommend using these newer techniques when they are available.

Three-dimensional conformal radiation therapy (3D-CRT): 3D-CRT uses special computer programs to precisely map the location of the tumor(s). Radiation beams are shaped and aimed at the tumor(s) from several directions, which makes it less likely to damage normal tissues.

Intensity modulated radiation therapy (IMRT): IMRT is an advanced form of 3D therapy. It uses a computer-driven machine that moves around the patient as it delivers radiation. Along with shaping the beams and aiming them at the tumor from several angles, the intensity (strength) of the beams can be adjusted to minimize the dose reaching the most sensitive normal tissues. This technique is used most often if tumors are near important structures such as the spinal cord. Many major hospitals and cancer centers are now able to provide IMRT.

Possible side effects of radiation therapy

Side effects of radiation therapy might include sunburn-like skin problems and hair loss where the radiation enters the body, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, and loss of appetite. Often these go away after treatment. Radiation might also make the side effects of chemotherapy worse.

Chest radiation therapy may cause some damage to your lungs, which might cause a cough, problems breathing, and shortness of breath. These usually improve after treatment is over, although in some cases the symptoms may not go away completely.

Your esophagus, which is in the middle of your chest, may be exposed to radiation, which could cause a sore throat and trouble swallowing during treatment. This may make it hard to eat anything other than soft foods or liquids for a while.

Radiation therapy to large areas of the brain can sometimes cause memory loss, headaches, trouble thinking, or reduced sexual desire. Usually these symptoms are minor compared with those caused by a brain tumor, but they can reduce your quality of life. Side effects of radiation therapy to the brain usually become most serious 1 or 2 years after treatment.

Only time will tell what is in store and only by the "Grace of God" I go with...this is in HIS hands now! My faith will carry me through.
I want to Thank everyone who has sent their thoughts and prayers my way....God Bless You All!!!! I will keep you posted.

American Cancer Society Site


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Congratulations! You've Made It!

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's probably shouldn't have survived.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright-colored, lead-based paint. We had no child-proof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we rode in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors!

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We would leave home in the morning and play all day as long as were back home when the lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day long. No cell phones!

Unthinkable!!! We didn't have PlayStations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games, no 99-channel cable TV, videotape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, no personal computers or internet chat rooms. We had friends!!! We went outside and found them.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us! We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell - or just walked in - and talked to them. Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. Horrors!!!!

School tests were not adjusted for any reason. Our actions were out own. Consequences were expected. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!!!

This generation has produced some of the best risktakers and problem-solvers and inventors, ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned to deal with it all. Makes a person wonder what happened to society!!!!

My mom sent this to me a few years back.
Written by Dick Peer who is a retired editor of "The Leader" (1961-1987)

Friday, August 5, 2011

Certainly wasn't "Food Poisoning!"

Had my "Pet Scan" done on Tuesday of last week at Roswell Park Cancer Institute.  Have to go for my pre-op on this coming Tuesday cause they said my right lung lit up and they have to go in and investigate it so I will have my biopsy done on Friday, hopefully! 

My upper right lobe near my air flo has collasped due to the mass they found in my right lung on July 9th during an ER visit. I thought I had food poisoning from some almonds i had not! 

They will be going down my trachea and take a piece of my lung to see what stage and what cancer it is!  I believe they said that they will then start me on chemo & radiation treatments until the tumor has shrunk enough to be surgically removed.

The "Pet Scan" was to make sure that the cancer had not metasticized to other parts of my body and it hasn't, Thank God! 

Will post after I have seen my Dr. at Roswell Park again on Tuesday in case there are any updates or changes made!  Have a great weekend and God Bless!  

Love ya, Lynn

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Forgot to wish...

Oh my gosh I forgot to wish everyone a "Happy 4th of July!!!!"  Well there I  just did...der! 
Was a very busy month and it went so fast, here we are in the last phase of July doesn't slow down for no one nor should it, you just have to learn to keep up with it!!!  I am learning! 

We certainly have enjoyed ourselves this summer and still have another month of summer to go....Yippee!!!!  Loving life as always hope you are too!

 goes out to my grandson Chris and my daughter-n-law Jill this week!  "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to YOU's!!!!  We love you both!!

Hugs & Kisses,
Lynn aka Nana

Friday, June 17, 2011

Happy Father's Day Weekend!


Well it is the weekend already again, wow this week sure went fast!  Tonight we rent movies and usually buy pizza and have what we call "family nite!"  The grand kids love it!  
School will soon be out and to be honest I am really excited about that!  I love it when the grand-kids are home from school.  We always find things to do that are fun.  We take walks, ride our bikes, you know all the fun stuff that kids love to do!!!!  I am not one to have a child just sit at the computer or video games all day long....nope, outside we go, cause that is where the REAL FUN is!!!!

And to all the Father's out there, have a



Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Congratulations Desiree!!!


DESIREE you are our "Shining Star", always have been and always will be! You make us so very proud to call you our "Granddaughter!" Never Ever forget how much you mean to us and Never Ever forget what a beautiful child you are! You have NEVER been a disappoint to us, and I am so very sorry that your Mother allowed those words to even come out of her mouth for you to hear! Nana and Papa love you so much!!!! Congratulations "Sweet Child" on your "Graduation and your up-coming year!"  Honey,  remember to "Always aim for the Moon even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars!"

May God grant you always
A sunbeam to warm you
A moonbeam to charm you
A sheltering angel so
nothing can harm you
Laughter to cheer you
Faithful friends near you
And whenever you pray
Heaven to hear you.