Friday, September 23, 2011

Autumn Thyme!

Well, it has been a crazy month to say the least. 
The 4th I ended up in the ER with a "Chemo Fever!"  Was admitted to the hospital  for seven days, said my white cells had dropped dangerously low.  Was the worse seven days of my life!  Couldn't wait to get out of the hospital. 

Then my red blood cells had dropped when I went for my Chemo treatment so they gave me my blood transfusion in one arm and chemo in the other,  just so I could make it to my radiation treatment on time. 
Yesterday they gave me a shot in the arm to keep my bone marrow happy so that my white cell count does not fall low again. Then off to radiation treatment before I went to the dentist....I had two teeth pulled, am on tons of antibiotics to keep from getting a secondary infection.  Have about six or seven more radiation treatments to go where they are only targeting the lung and then they are going to target the brain.  Cause that is were this particular cancer goes next.  This is precautionary and will keep it from going there i guess.  Then another round of Chemo in October and then I think they will re-scan me to see were we are at.   It is all in "God's Hands!" 

Today is the first day of Autumn...enjoy it...I love fall, don't you? 
Where did Summer go!!!  
 Have a great weekend!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

There are moments in your life that
make you and
sets the course of who
you're going to be.
Sometimes they're
little, subtle moments.
they're big moments you never saw coming.
No one asks for their life to change,
but it does.
It's what you do afterwards
that counts.
That's when you find out
who you are.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Jennifer you are only human, Mom loves you!

September 1, 2011You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do
Becoming Your Wrong Decisions

We are not our decisions and no decision is wrong because we made the choice with the information at hand.

Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and in-actions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that “wrong” decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our “poor” decisions by labeling ourselves incompetent decision-makers. However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence—what makes you a unique entity—exists independently of your decision-making process.

There are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence yet they are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on our ability to trust ourselves and our self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a “bad decision” was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently. Try to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to understand why you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward.

A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply human.