Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Ryan's 3rd Birthday!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Please See Me...
An Old Lady's Poem
What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise.
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten...with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman...and nature is cruel;
'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years ....all gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes nurses, open and see ...
Not a crabby old woman; Please look closer..
and see ME!!
What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise.
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten...with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman...and nature is cruel;
'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years ....all gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes nurses, open and see ...
Not a crabby old woman; Please look closer..
and see ME!!
Friday, February 24, 2012
True Peace
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror, for peaceful towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw the picture thought it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell, and in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had her nest. There in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest.
The king chose the second picture as the winner. "Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
What has Life taught you?
~I've Learned~
I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there better be something else to takes it's place.
I've learned that hero's are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that sometimes I'm angry and that I have a right to be, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance, Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experience you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you, It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
I've learned no matter how good a friend is they're going to hurt you every once and a while, and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue, doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that your life can change in a matter of minutes by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that credentials on the wall doesn't necessarily make you a decent human being.
I've learned that the people you love and care about the most in life are taken from you way too soon.
I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there better be something else to takes it's place.
I've learned that hero's are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that sometimes I'm angry and that I have a right to be, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance, Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experience you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you, It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
I've learned no matter how good a friend is they're going to hurt you every once and a while, and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue, doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that your life can change in a matter of minutes by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that credentials on the wall doesn't necessarily make you a decent human being.
I've learned that the people you love and care about the most in life are taken from you way too soon.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Happy Birthday Jenna!
Happy Birthday Jenna.....Hoping your day has been the greatest you have ever had!!!!
When things get hard or too much to handle just remember what "God Says!"
You are doing good and I am proud of you!
Mom
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine's Day!
Love is a symbol of eternity.
It wipes out all sense of time,
destroying all memory of a
beginning and all fear of an end.
Have a Happy Valentine's Day!
How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flown.
How did it get so late so soon?
~Dr. Seuss~
It's night before it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flown.
How did it get so late so soon?
~Dr. Seuss~
Friday, February 3, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
When I Say.....
When I say...
"I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I am saved" I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."
When I say..."I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need someone to be my guide.
When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on.
When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and cannot ever pay the debt.
When I say..."I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are too visible but God believes I'm worth it.
When I say..."I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain and I have my share of heartaches which is why I seek His name.
When I say..."I am a Christian" I do not wish to judge. I have no authority. I only know I'm loved!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Happy Monday Everyone!
Happy Monday Everyone!
Wanted to say "Happy Birthday" to Cindy!!!! Hope your day was wonderful. Hope you went out to dinner and saw a movie and you were able to celebrate you!
Winter finally arrived....and it is about time! I can't say if that means "Spring" may come early this year but if it does it will be a very Welcomed sight. I can take the snow or leave it...really! I'll have to say honestly, I loved it alot more when I was younger....lol!
If there is anything you would like to see this year as far as graphics go let me know and I will see what I can do. Will be making more Free Calendar Wallpapers soon! Till then enjoy the time you have with your family & friends and truly know how precious that time truly is.
I have recently just rented two of the best movies I have ever seen in a very long time....They are called, "Fireproof" and "Courageous", outstanding movies. If you get a chance to watch them ..... do it!!!! Bring plenty of tissues. Take care and God Bless!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
A Quiet Sunday!
Hope everyone is doing fine today....our weather outside looks like spring is trying to break out....wish that was so! But we all know we really haven't had a winter at all, so till it actually comes I will enjoy this gorgeous weather outside.
Took a picture with my camera after Christmas of My husband Mike, my grand-daughter Desiree and my grandson Ryan. Turned out pretty good.
Took a picture with my camera after Christmas of My husband Mike, my grand-daughter Desiree and my grandson Ryan. Turned out pretty good.
Well when I say it is a quiet Sunday, I truly mean it is a quiet Sunday! Desiree went to spend the night with her Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Jill.....and isn't home yet....Aunt Jill and her rented a movie and then Desiree is going to paint Aunt Jill's nails. Desiree does wonderful nails. Ryan played with Grandpa most of the morning so I could get some sleep....and now Ryan is down for a nap and Grandpa is playing with his PS2. So the house is really quiet....plus I am almost done making my iced pumpkin cookies.
I picked up my new glasses on Friday....what a welcomed sight they were....I did not realize how bad my eyes had gotten over the last three years. Well I can see now and it sure seems good. Hope everyone enjoys your week. Stay safe and happy! Bless you's!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Merry Christmas To My Friends & Family!
Anyhow, went to see the Chemo Dr. the other day, he said my scan looked good, and I said, "Oh so does that mean I am the one in five!" And he said "NOTHING!!!!" I go okay that hesitation was way to long! He said after five years of not needing treatment you will be. Oh really, well if I don't have to come back for a scan and to see you till March....How will I know if the cancer has moved somewhere else? And his reply was....."Oh you'll know!!!!!!!" I said, "What does that mean!" And again I asked him, how will I know because I am not one to go to the doctors!!!!! And again he says without looking at me both times, "Oh you will know!!!!!" Finally the nurse goes if anything feels different to you or you have pain just call us and we will get you in here. So take it as you will that is what I was told.....I should have grabbed my neighbor Bob to go with me instead of going alone. Just seems so unfair that I have had to go through this alone, well okay except for the times my neighbor Bob, God Bless him, came and watched Ry for me or Jenn came with me, Oh and Desiree came to a Chemo session with me once when she didn't have to go to school that day. My husband has had to work he is the only one in our family supporting all of us....and well no work no money no pay bills,,,,,,Everyone that is there has tons of family with them that cares about their loved one with cancer and it just hurts to think.... forgive me cause I haven't complained about anything since I found out I had cancer and I don't know why I am complaining now besides I have had God with me all the way so I guess I have never really been alone. What more do I need, it worked for me my faith that is and it always has and always will....My Lord has never forsaken me!
I forgot to show you my personal wallpaper for December that I am using......
These are the snow people I painted a few years ago, they fit perfect out in our big front window, they are my favorite of all the paintings I have done. They look so in love don't they?
Well I received a call from my grandson's school last week and again this week....I tell ya that boy is heading for trouble and I don't know what to do to help him. He is in fifth grade and he is a big boy....but he has a lot of ATTITUDE!!!! He has now been suspended from school till school gets back in session after the holidays! Going to pray for this one!!!!!!
To all my family and friends, my thoughts and prayers are with you always....May your holidays be filled with the spirit and joy of Christmas! Be safe Be happy Be loved! God bless you all.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Let It Snow!
Hello...wow...it snowed yesterday and it was awesome!!!! Desiree, Ryan and I all went outside and made a little snowman, just about Ryan's size. He loves everything about Christmas and isn't afraid to show his excitement!!!!
Well I thought I had Chemo on the 7th but I was wrong..I called the Infusion Center and they said, "No, but I do have to have a "Cat Scan" done next week and then I see the Dr. the following week.
Was horribly sick over this past weekend, while Mike, Desiree and Ryan had sinus problems...I had dizziness and vomiting well more like severe dry heaves....It was horrible. Not sure if it is because of my cancer or something that I had caught from the three of them.
Also would like to say:
to my Sister-n-Law Cathy!! Hope you had a great day!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my Mom, Cindy, Larry & Grandma for all the wonderful gifts I was sent for my birthday...God Bless You All!!!!!
Our Snowman, Desiree and Ryan
Hugs, Linda
Well I thought I had Chemo on the 7th but I was wrong..I called the Infusion Center and they said, "No, but I do have to have a "Cat Scan" done next week and then I see the Dr. the following week.
Was horribly sick over this past weekend, while Mike, Desiree and Ryan had sinus problems...I had dizziness and vomiting well more like severe dry heaves....It was horrible. Not sure if it is because of my cancer or something that I had caught from the three of them.
Also would like to say:
to my Sister-n-Law Cathy!! Hope you had a great day!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my Mom, Cindy, Larry & Grandma for all the wonderful gifts I was sent for my birthday...God Bless You All!!!!!
Our Snowman, Desiree and Ryan
Hugs, Linda
Friday, November 18, 2011
Just Catching You Up
Brrrrrrr....Baby it's cold outside!It was 28 degrees out this morning.....that is cold! I am not a fan of the cold...but I love the snow, figure that one out...lol..
Well next week we celebrate Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving...can you believe it!!!!! I also get to celebrate my birthday the same day....some may think that it is cool to celebrate your birthday on a holiday...but it isn't! I only like celebrating my birthday on a holiday so that the hussel and bussel of the holiday makes me forget all about my birthday!!!!!! Now that is coooooool don't you think...I do!!!!!
Well as of the 21st of November I am done with the radiation on the brain....in fact I was told I was done with radiation all together...and even if I wanted more I would not be getting any more!!!!! Now I guess the results of brain radiation takes a long long time to see results.....and the awful side effects that come along with treatments!!! The Dr. tells me my hair will never grow back, radiation does not treat hair follicles kindly....I could loose anywhere from 2 to 10 points off my IQ......I will get extremely tired.....will be sick to my stomach or vomiting....may get headaches.....all I know is that it will take anywhere from one to two years to see the serious affects of this treatment.
The worst part of this radiation so far was when they fitted the mesh mask over your face...felt like a warm wash cloth....and then it became tighter and tighter until you felt like you were being buried alive.....kid you not....when it was fitted to your face and head they marked the spots exactly where you would be scanned with the radiation next time you came for treatment.....I had an anxiety attack when they put the mask on and screwed it to the table....I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe....finally I thought of somewhere else I would rather be, slowed my breathing down, way down....and waited for the treatment to be over......My prayers and thoughts go out to every little child who has ever had to go through cancer treatments....God Bless You, If I sound like I am complaining please forgive me!
I head for another round of "Chemo" in early December for three days....not sure what is up after that but will keep you informed....To my family and friends ~ I love you all!!!!!
Speaking of friends....my bestest friend of all.....beckie...sent me a silver heart necklace through the mail the other day....and put both of our precious angles pictures inside so that they can watch over me....God Bless YOU my Dear Friend!!!!!!!
Oh, by the way, my grandchildren's report cards came this week......WOW!!!!!!!! Talk about smart kids.....WOW! Desiree scored in the high 90's all the way down her report card and has a 95 average!!!! Way to go Dez, Way to go!!!!! Zak he scored in the low 90's and 80's on his......WOW!!!!!!!!! Way to go Zak, Way to go!!!!!! Needless to say that Nana & Papa, Ron & Jill & Mom & Dad are all so proud of you both!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Break between treatments!
It is almost the end of October....Where is this year going too! Well for the last couple of weeks I have had a break in treatments......they finished up on the radiation on the tumor in the lung....toward the end of last month....and chemo is done until December!
Today I went for a brain scan to make sure the cancer hasn't spread to the brain, which they thought it hadn't....but needed to be read by another doctor before they would say for sure. So I have to start my radiation on the brain which is a precautionary measure for this cancer. It will be ten days of treatment and that is it! Will let you know how it goes.
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